Ijaw Dictionary Online

How Automobiles Work

-(announcer) You’ve seen the other battery hacks. The 9-volt… Lame! The 6-volt… Lame! And the 12-volt… Mega lame! Not this one though. We’re gonna hack a car battery and save you millions of dollars a year. First, borrow your buddy’s keys to his car and pop the hood open. Find the battery and take it out. Make sure to leave him a note, though, so he doesn’t get upset that you hacked his battery. Friendly hack! Next, we need to get this bad boy open. You’ll notice that there are all kinds of warning labels on there. Lame! But that’s just a bunch of crap to keep you from finding the treasures inside. Now normally I would use a lightsaber to open up this battery, but since most of you don’t have lightsabers, we’re gonna use a standard flat-head screwdriver. Lame! Now put some hustle in your muscle and make like Chuck Norris on crack ’cause you’re gonna need it. This thing is sealed tight. Sometimes it helps to flip it on its side. Sideways hack! All the struggling’s worth it though once you get that top cracked open, ’cause this baby is filled with AA batteries. Just shake it and the batteries start pouring out. Shake it some more until they’re all out. Over 1,500 AA’s make up this one car battery, but that’s not all. I dug around inside and found an old-school Game Boy. Who knew they put these things in there? Unfortunately, it only comes with Tetris, but hey, what’re you gonna do? Oh, and be careful, some brands also have a unicorn inside them. They may look magical and cute, but all they do is run around and crap all over your workshop, so it’s best to get rid of them right away. [splat!] Bloody unicorn hack! So there you have it. With this tip, you’ll never have to buy AA’s again. Captioned by SpongeSebastian

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