God created the Bike and the Sidecar Very quickly on the 8th day, because God already got everything and he was bored, like Adam and his apple by the way God created the bike to break the boredom of this little world. The Bike was fabulous, the human felt good and moreover free to go anywhere he wanted. Actually, not in the beginning, God made a huge mistake. Bikes only have 2 wheels and honestly at that time the fossil energies were not discovered, bikes were very risky. So yes, Adam was stubborn and warlike. He kept trying riding on this spellbinding 2 wheel, but without any success. Looking at that dummy Adam in trouble, God took another initiative. He added a basket and a third wheel to create what he named a “side car”. But it was still tricky for Adam. As God was not nasty, he took another initiative but it was still tricky. Adam felt again bored. So, God thought … and in his extreme kindness, he made THAT! And as he knew that Adam did not like to be alone, he found a loyal road mate with after some tries. A dog, hmm too loyal, A parrot? No, too talkative as Eve. With a billy goat? No, too sexy and too much temptation. So with who? Oh yes, a monkey! It was perfect. Why did God not think about it earlier? As we just told you, several centuries after that famous chapter narrated in the Bible, we wanted to meet this intriguing community, the side car and their monkey. A machine that is still not “Catholic”, willing to go straight when you wanna turn, or willing to turn when you wanna go straight. To better understand the phenomenon, we pushed the self sacrifice in joining the Dark Dog Moto Tour 2012, riding a DJ Sport hitched up to a R1 cross plane. We loaded the “wheelbarrow” and flied like gulls to the picturesque town of Val de Reuil. I say “us” ‘cos I talked about my monkey and me. Ohh, Laurent, take off your pants. Olivier Rahan, son of Craon Every morning, he woke up and walked to the stall. It was very useful as he was in charge of the navigation. I quickly understood that the side car teammates were an abused animals and were often put on the side. Wake up at 4 am like any bikers; he has to leave last whatever is the global result. Someone put a cardboard inside, they thought it was a trash can Lolo. Several riding hours later, we arrived at Carole’s racetrack, place of the first stage. We can notice that the 2 wheel bikers were panicking when they realized that the track was wet. If I succeed to leave tomorrow, I would be happy. Did you finish whining? Pilots are like that. A good pilot is a pilot who complains. Once the light went green, in the first round of the motorcycles, some pulled themselves together and did not let go beside very tricky conditions. Behind, among the standard guys, we noticed different styles. The dude with a hoodie, the dude with a beemer R 1200 GS but on a global point of view, the race on only 2 wheel appealed to boredom until the so expected appearance of the sidecars. You see, us the sidecars guys, we don’t care if the track is wet or dry. With a side, we crack it. Moreover, as we left the last ones, the track was dry. With a side, even standard dudes give a good show. We went back to the ugly town of Val de Reuil. Maybe the race organizer forgot his mobile phone over there? In that new stage, bikers were not riding really cleanly. I don’t know why, but their trajectories were hesitating, shaking. Even if it was dry, something was holding them. They were scared. Yes, they were scared. With the sidecars, there were no hesitations. The tires were screeching, repainting the white lines in black when they opened it in big. Well, the show was a success. On the 2nd stage, we won. I don’t tell you the faces of the other sidecar competitors. Some are offended. I don’t feel like to smile, they kicked my ass. Others were stressed because of our performance. They were thinking about adding a turbo or a volumetric compressor in order to beat us at the next stage. So, they all started to do mechanics with fakes reasons. You see, we had a technical malfunctioned, the hand brake was over inflated, the super bolt was loose or others bullshit excuses. The next day, around Bessé sur Bray Village, the rain was back. Bikers again acted like virgins and pussies. Only Lionel Richier on his Kawasaki 1000 Versys dares. He almost deserved to do the Dark Moto Tour riding a side car. But the other dudes, look at them. They faked to master and do some gardening on the side of the road. I opened my visor to take a breath cos I am scared or others sweep the visor. At least, it made the spectators smile in these gloomy remote lands with little sun. What these bikers mean by extending their foot? A need to have a third support, maybe one more wheel. So, a side car! Precisely, look at the ease, the cleanliness of these attacks. With a side, you see, you just need to adjust the high of the blade to mow only what is necessary while you can wave to the crowd. Check that out! hop, only over the tuft. A maneuver which requires high mastering techniques. For us, at that stage, we only made the 28th overall and made 5th of the side cars. With my monkey, we made a perfect couple. His driving made me all soaked and he did not even give me a cookie. He only told me, 2 Km right, straight at the round about, take the arrow on the right, it was enough. You could have told me a story or sang a song. On the next stage (Angers Town) which was still as wet, the solo bikers started to give a smile like Bouan, Gines, Tonuitti, Four, Richier and they made the show. But the other guys did another kind of style quite differently. They were fed up of the skilled side car pilots so they tried to have something more creatively. Here, I lose the rear a little, here I lose the front. Here, I almost went into the wood. Here, I really go into the woods. Here, I lose both front and rear. Ok, we smiled but that one could have been bad ‘cos of the missing protection on the side of the road. They tried to seduce the crowd but it was not enough compared to the awesome side cars show. The difference between bikes and side showed up not only during the stages but also during the long link stage. It represented 350 to 500 Km a day. Hopefully, the average speed was reduced from 60 to 55 km/h. Otherwise, I don’t know how solo bikers could have made it. The roads were full of leaves, the bikers were in distress. Nicely, we put pressure on them, but not too much either ‘cos the pilot of the side cars is in charge of the safety and the comfort of his monkey. So like that, the pilot only caressed the throttle to allow his monkey to focus on the navigation. A huge feeling of harmony and brotherhood invaded the team. U turn Duch bag! Moreover you are too slow. Every 2 hours, we needed a break we were to be together. Such a harmony made the community gave us a nice nickname. At the beginning, it was Tic and Tac and after it became Backpack. You are here? Yes, I am here. Here! No ,the other side. Give me a small wrench Lolo. We were real buddies and inseparable but it was not without disadvantages. Please, give me the toilet paper. Why? No, not that!