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You have the charisma of a damp rag! Damp rag! You have the appearance of a bank clerk! Bank Clerk! Who are you? I’d never heard of you! Eat my poo! Nobody in Europe had ever heard of you! But I have no doubt that it’s your intention To be the quiet assassin of European democracy. Perhaps that’s because you come from Belgium Which of course, is pretty much a non-country. We don’t know you, we don’t want you! The sooner you’re put out to grass, the better! We don’t like you, we don’t want you! Our logic and reason have proved you wrong! Go back to Douchebagistan where you belong! Don’t make me have to start World War III ! Bring it on, these guns are WMD! We don’t know you, we don’t want you! We don’t like you, we don’t want you! Last month, comedian Bill Cosby was surprised to read that he died. How can he read if he’s dead? Chief Justice John Roberts was the last to know he resigned. Maybe he should check his head! All of those stories, of course are pure poppycock that proliferated online. I do it all the time, makin up s— is so sublime. But that of course is little solace for the reader who simply wants to surf the web without getting pulled under by a riptide of lies. You can’t protect the web from a–holes like me, shorty! Truth can rip through cyberspace as quickly as lies Bloggers gnaw at new information like piranhas in a pool Don’t play me for a fool you know as well as I, we’re both getting owned by the Rip, riptide of lies pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies Pure poppycock! I want to surf, surf the web without getting pulled under by a rip, riptide of lies! You hit on a guy at a wedding. Iů Iů So Explain that one first. Okay, so we’re at a wedding, New Year’s Eve, everyone had too much to drink. There were 300 people there, I went with a bridesmaid, danced with her, I grabbed a bachelor. Now they’re sayin I groped a male staffer! Yeah, I did! – Um. – Yeah, yeah, yeah! A manly back-rub. Just a back rub! We all live together, all the bachelors and me. Naked in the tub! You can take anything out of context! Huggin! You can take anything out of context! Scrubbin! You can take anything out of context! Rubbin and humpin! Yeah! Ticklin and jumpin! Yeah, yeah! I tickled him till he couldn’t breathe, then four guys jumped on me. It’s my fiftieth birthday. Whether you’re telling the truth or not, An avalanche is coming your way. An avalanche of lies, pulled under by an avalanche of lies! Whether you’re telling the truth or not, you’re guaranteed to get caught in an avalanche of lies! Massa staffers! Droppin a St. Bernard of truth – But we already drank the brandy. My boss tickles me like a true G, He straddles me so masculine No stoppin’ when I’m askin’ him When he cootchie-coo my armpits, I’m a goner Tryna pretend that I don’t notice his boner! Tryna distract him with headlines from China He just dropped his drawers and pulled out his vagina! Whenever you hear the boss swaggerin down the hall, you know he gonna drop a double cup on your tennis balls! You have to be a soldier, a real man, to soothe a male staffer with the stroke from a tender hand! Ain’t nothin wrong with a Massa massage when you’re in a chronic platonic quintuple menage! The entourage gripped in a bear hug that they can’t escape Tryna pretend they don’t notice when he ejacu- –

100 thoughts on “Pure Poppycock. (ft. Joel Madden) // Auto-Tune the News #11

  1. 6 Years later and the UK is out of the EU, Katie Couric is has been dropped as host of the evening news, Massa is a homeless guy, and Glenn Beck is more insane than ever. Awesome!

  2. this is how i view rap, silly and laughable. im sorry comparing this to rap is insulting to these guys. this is 100 times better than anything kanye or jayz have ever done XD

  3. yes this is still relevant in current year because

    Farage is awesome
    Everyone hates the German PM
    Bill Cosby popped up again
    fake news is everywhere
    stories of groping in the news

  4. My favorite part is still the pointing to step 4. Fail as he said "And pulled out his vagina"
    Best plot twist of 2010.

  5. The duet between Katie Couric and Joel Madden that starts around 1:37 is still one of my favorite things ever. Seriously I could listen to it all day

  6. Damn, these videos are crazy omniscient. Nigel Farage antagonizing the EU six years before Brexit and thousands of people duped by Fake News

  7. Fuck Farage, he's got such a horrible political platform and he's so unfortunately hilarious. Especially when he insults people.

  8. i was here in 2010 but never bothered on leaving comments in yt videos back then. won't make this mistake again. 8years later n this one is as great as before. be back in 2026.

  9. Ah, katie couric, the stan lee of Songify the news cameo-ing in everything before stan lee in marvel films was popular. I miss her in your new stuff.

  10. 2019 update: Farage made himself an architect of the UK’s Brexit farce, Bill Cosby’s career died, Glenn Beck is still crazy but not on Fox News (replaced by other crazies).

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